What Makes a "Good Mom"?

So I know I might be getting myself into something I may not want to get into but this has been heavy on my thoughts so I felt like I needed to put it out there...

                         

What makes you a "good mom"? 

Well, let me tell you what I think doesn't make you a good mom.

It's not whether or not you breastfed or bottle fed, co-sleep or did sleep training in a crib. It's not whether you used cloth diapers or disposable. Whether you spank or not.  Whether you make your own baby food or buy the jar stuff, or if you choose to vaccinate or not.  

Whatever your opinion is on any of these subjects, that's great!  But as professing Christian moms we must be careful how we voice our opinions (myself included) about our choices in raising our kids. Because all these issues are important, but also very personal.  Each situation is unique and may have many layers of circumstances that you may not have any clue about. The guilt that some moms unknowingly put on other moms for not sharing their same passion on certain issues is very vast. 

So here's what I'm getting at, the heart of the matter...

ULTIMATELY I believe what makes you a good mom is this: 

Raising up little ones to be Jesus loving adults.

At the end of the day when we get to heaven, we won't be questioned on if we let our kids sleep in bed with us or not or if we let them suck on a pacifier or if we nursed them until they were three. But we will be questioned on if we loved our kids enough to live the life to the best of our ability as a godly example to our kids.  We will be questioned and judged by God on what we taught our kids about Jesus, faith, and His Holy Word.  Moms, let's remember that ultimately, THIS is what it's all about.  

Let's remember that as moms we're sisters in Christ.  We're in this together.  Let's love our kids and make the choices that work for each of us, individually, but support and encourage each other. 

Coping with Postpartum Depression

It's been a while since I've posted on this blog.  Let's just say, it's been quite the year.  About two months ago our world was blessed with the arrival of our second son, Judah Richard.  He came into this world in a hurry and our lives have been in a whirlwind ever since!

So with our new bundle of joy I found myself feeling completely overwhelmed.  My two year old wasn't thrilled with the idea of sharing mommy and made it very clear through his show of emotion (tantrums...).

As many of you moms out there know, adjusting to a newborn is hard!  Nursing is hard!  Having a two year old is hard!  And add to that the normal stresses of life and work and also being a step mom part of the time make for one very worn out mommy.  

This second time around, though I have struggled with postpartum depression in a much severe way than I did with my first.  After almost two months I'm feeling the dark cloud lifting, but I still have my down moments.  Here are some things that have helped me push through it.

1.  Take advantage of every opportunity to get away.  Even if it's just to the grocery store to pick up milk- go.  You need to have some moments of quiet to feel a little bit human.  

2.  Talk about it.  Find a friend or family member and be open about what you are feeling and going through.  

3.  Remind your self of why you are feeling the way you do.  Your hormones are going berserk after having a baby and nursing perpetuates it.  So severe estrogen drops on top of sleep deprivation on top of EVERYTHING else-  yeah, you may feel down, but call it like it is.  Hormones.  

4. Also, remind yourself over and over again, "This is a season.  It will pass."  You will get through this. 

5.  Praise and pray through it.  I'm not trying to sound super spiritual here.  I'm being very honest.  In the midst of my tears I would just stop and start thanking God for my babies, my body that birthed my babies and all the many other things I had to be grateful for.  I would pray for grace to get through it and also for joy in every happy moment.  Interestingly enough, my Judah's name means "praise".  Praising God got my focus off of myself and on to Him!  It helps!  Try it!

If you are a new mom suffering the baby blues I feel ya!  Hopefully this post helps you.  You'll get through this in time, I promise!

Maria

How Often Should I Wash My Hair?

I get asked this a lot.  There are many different opinions on this.  Some stylist will recommend that you go as long as you possibly can between shampoos.  Some people will go a week or more without washing their hair.  To most of us this seems crazy.  How on earth can one go that long without their hair looking greasy?

 Well, here is how...

Your scalp produces oil constantly.  The good for you kind that moisturizes and protects your hair and the dirty, stinky kind.   Shampoo doesn't know the difference and strips away both kinds.  Every time you shampoo your scalp, your oil glands work in overdrive to replenish the good oil that has been stripped away.  Your scalp gets used to being shampooed everyday so it is used to producing a generous amount of oil regularly.  So when you skip a day shampooing, since your oil glands are so active, they produce what they are used to producing resulting in oily hair.

So how do you fix this?  It is't a quick fix.  It takes time to train your scalp and oil glands to not produce as much oil.  But if you endure the process, eventually you will be able to go longer between shampoos.

Why should I not shampoo my hair as often you ask?  Well, even the most gentle shampoo can be very abrasive to your hair.  As stated earlier. the chemicals in shampoo strip your hair of all natural moisture- drying the hair out.  Shampooing too often can also strip your hair color over time.  So by going longer stretches in between shampooing, you will notice that your hair is shinier and less dry and also a bit healthier and your color will last longer too.

Here are a couple things you can do with your hair on the "non-shampoo" days.  Keep in mind that it is totally cool to rinse your hair and even condition the ends on the off days.

1. Use a dry shampoo.  Here is a blog post listing my faves.  Dry shampoo is great to spray on your roots to absorb any unwanted oil.

2.  Wear your hair up to conceal any unwanted shine.

3.  Wear a stylish hat.

I usually go the first day by blow drying it out nice.  The second day I will curl it loosely with my iron and use some dry shampoo if needed.  On the third day (if I go a third day), I may touch it up with the curling iron or wear it up in little updo or wear a hat.

Hopefully this helps.  Keep in mind that it's okay to do what you have to do in regards to shampooing your hair.  For instance if you work out every day or if you are outside a lot and work up a sweat often.  It's okay to wash your hair if you need to.  Just keep in mind that giving your hair a break from time to time is good too.

What Mommy Wore: Starting to Show!

I'm about 15 weeks into this pregnancy and boy, has it been a rough one!  Morning sickness, migraines and fatigue have been my main complaints, but thankfully I'm slowly feeling better.

So now that my belly is starting to poke out a bit, I've been having fun with showing it off a little.  I'm still not quite big enough for maternity clothes so I'm making use of my flowy tops and stretchy dresses.

This dress is from Forever 21 for only $15.80!  It's super comfortable and there is still a little room for me to grow.  I wore this dress a lot before I was pregnant as well. 

I just layered it with a black tank and added a little brown belt that I found in my closet.  I think it came with another top that I bought who knows how long ago.

My sandals are from Target. 

Just Follow Your Heart?

So I've been thinking a lot about this today.  I have a heaviness in me for my generation of young women, and the generations to follow. In a world where Kim Kardashian is a  role model and Cosmo has the answer to all of life's problems, it seems like all around us there is the mantra,  "follow your heart". Well, I have a problem with that, and so does the Lord.  I found some interesting scriptures to back this up.  We are taught to follow our hearts, but the Word says that our hearts are to follow God. 

Interesting. Ps. 119:30. "I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on Your laws."  Ps. 119:112, "My heart is set on keeping Your decrees to the very end." Proverbs 23:19, "Listen my son and be wise, and set your heart on understanding."  So many women have made devastating choices and have ruined their lives or the lives of others because they heeded the council to "follow your heart".  Basically just go with whatever you feel like doing.  

The heart represents our emotional inner person.  The seat of the emotions is the heart.  As women, we all know that our emotions fluctuate.  We are up and then down.  That's why the Bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond all cure" (Jer. 17:9).  How many times has my heart pulled me in a direction that was potentially destructive?  You'll notice people who live by the "follow your heart" philosophy are inconsistent, in and out of relationships, and constantly changing their minds on what they want to do with their lives.  We spend to much time trying to figure out what WE want instead of diligently seeking what His will is on our life. 

Parents!  instruct your kids to follow the Word!  Seek wisdom and understand and just do the right thing even when our hearts want to do something else.  When things are tough, or complicated our hearts are weary and may long for something more pleasant. In these times, which we all can relate to, we shouldn't be trying to figure out what our hearts want (aka, our flesh), or what feels better, but what the will of God is. Hide His Word in your heart (Ps. 119:11) and follow that!

Delight yourself in Him, knowing that in time, your hearts desires will be met.  You know, if you truly delight yourself in the Lord, the desires of your heart shift and change to where you just simply desire Him alone.  Turn your heart toward wisdom.  Guard it. Trust Him with all of it.  Seek His kingdom first.  Put your flesh aside and THEN everything you want will fall into place. Instead of following our hearts, let's pursue the calling that the Lord has placed on our lives and encourage others to do the same.

-Maria

Weddings and Events!

A very special announcement!  I am now available for service to all brides and bridesmaids and those needing their hair done for special events in the Brunswick/St. Simons, Georgia and Jacksonville, Florida area.  I'll come to you!  I love to do special occasion hair and I have over ten years experience. If interested please feel free to contact me at mommydoeshair@gmail.com for prices and any other info.  

Morning Sickness...yay!

Well, I haven't posted in a while because, well, I'm expecting!  I'm about 9 weeks along and I've been feeling pretty rough.  I have good days and bad days.  I'm so thankful for a supportive and helpful husband and a sweet baby boy  that makes my job as a mommy a breeze.  So excited about the new bundle that will be in my arms coming in February!

Stay tuned for more post about hair and beauty.  Also, I have some more recipes I would love to share!